Size: 59in x 29.5in x 1.5in
Materials: Repurposed wooden board, Spray paint, Acrylic paint, Latex Paint
The irony of this piece is that it's all about the feeling of being lost in life, yet in many ways, I’m at a loss of explaining the depth of what this painting means to me personally. I’ll take you along for the ride and, as with each piece I create, feel free to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. Because what else is art really about, if not feeling a little less alone as we ride the waves of our own inner oceans?
This painting in its essence is about the overwhelming feeling of not being where you want to be in life while also having no idea how to get there if you are even lucky enough to know where there is…. If that makes sense to anyone else.
I believe as humans we all go through moments in life where we feel alone like we’re the only ones on a tiny island in the ocean somewhere. But more often than not everyone goes through those phases, everyone is different, yes, and so are their stories. But what we feel in those moments of sadness, happiness, pure excitement, and life-altering pain is the same in so many more ways than they are different.
It’s why a stranger can write a love song that speaks volumes to our hearts, a dance can bring us to tears and why, sometimes without even the ability to really explain it, our hearts immediately connected with an art piece.
This idea has inspired countless drawings and paintings of mine at this point but it's really driven home in this painting in particular. I heard a really good quote once “we as a society have never had more information available to us, literally at the tips of our fingers. But we have never been more lost.”
I deeply relate to it, I can talk for hours about all the things I want to do in this lifetime but it doesn’t mean that I know where to start with half of them. What may even feel worse is that the half I have started I constantly have intrusive thoughts telling me that I should be farther, that I’m not doing enough, Im not making enough money, I’m not making enough memories, I’m not a good enough friend and that in general, I’m just failing at this game of life.
Yes, I know my anxiety is lying to me but it doesn’t mean that those emotions don’t leave their marks on my heart.
So in an act to build a raft when I felt like I was drowning with the weight of being lost, I made this painting. Because half my friends feel the same way, half the people that come and sit at the bar I work at sing the same song of not knowing where they’re going but nonetheless still take steps forward. And within that, I think there lies a beautifully simple answer. We were never meant to have it all figured out.
Yes, plans are great but what happens when your only relationship with plans is a disappointment, not organization? What happens when you act with intent but your triggers still make your foundation shaky?
This isn’t just about not knowing your next step, it’s also about getting away from the pressure of knowing the next 20. This is meant to be a lighthouse to say if you have felt anything I just talked about, you aren’t alone.
I'm a quote person, always have been always will be. And as Maya Angelou said best “ You are only free when you realize you belong no place - you belong every place - no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.”
We may all be driving blind but with a little bit of optimism and a whole lot of following our hearts, I truly believe with every fiber of my soul we will end up exactly where we need to be. Exactly when we need to be there and I hope that you take the risk of believing it too.
So yes, I don’t know where I’m going but I know I’m on my way.
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